I did manage another 600 words on QUEST FOR BASHKIM and queried another agent on STRANGE FRUIT. I still have one agent and one publisher reading the YA historical, so things are still happening.
I finally realized that I cannot plan to write. I cannot maintain a schedule (even a flexible one) and I cannot make time to write. The reason – there is no time to make. I’m going strong from 6 am to 8 pm and by the time I get everything done, I’m exhausted.
All I’m doing is worrying myself to death. Sure, I can quit the day job, scrape by on one salary and make the kids drop out of all of their activities. I can ignore everything else in my life and you betcha, I’d be one prolific writer. I’d also be the most hated mom and wife on the planet and one of the most boring people I know. All of these things make me who I am and consequently make me what I write. I will no longer resent not having the time to realize a dream. It is a dream and unfortunately, real life is more important.
What I can do is – steal minutes. Five minutes here, thirty there and ten somewhere else. It sounds crazy, but it’s actually working better than I ever imagined. There are no set times to write (the pressure of a blank page would just bring on a bout of writer’s block anyway), no word count goals, no self imposed deadlines. Just me, my pencil and paper.
The plan is not perfect, nor am I spilling volumes of words on the page, but it is the best I can do right now.